9 things your husband is thinking about constantly…

Excellent article. I didn’t even understand why I was drawn to sports so much, makes sense though! Now, what’s for lunch!!! Lol, enjoy!!



9 things your husband is always thinking about.

December 16, 2014Leave a Comment
by: Dave Willis
One of the greatest challenges in marriage is navigating the differences between the typical male thought process and the typical female thought process. God (in His wisdom and His sense of humor) gave men and women very different perspectives. When these differences are understood, the husband and wife can harmonize with each other and see the world with more depth and perspective than either can could do alone.
To help you ladies understand the mind of your man, I’ve listed below the main things that seem to dominate our thoughts. I hope these insights spark some rich conversations in your marriage. Since I’m obviously not an expert on what women think, I’m going to try to talk my amazing wife, Ashley into share the secrets of a wife’s thoughts on her blog.
If your husband is like most guys, his thought are probably …

(In no particular order)
1. Concern for your happiness.
This one might surprise you, but most husbands can never be happier than they believe their wife is. Your happiness, contentment and joy is of the utmost importance. Sometimes our own selfishness and pride gets in the way, but your happiness is a consistent thought. When you are unhappy (or you seem unhappy), we’ll try to figure out how to make it right.

2. SEX.
This one probably isn’t a shocker, but we actually think about sex even more than you think we do. It dominates our thoughts. In fact, most of us wish we could dial down our mental sex drive. We’ll often gauge the health of our marriage based on the health of our sex life.
For tools to help you improve sexual intimacy within your marriage, check out our new video series, “Best Sex Life Now,” by clicking here.
3. How to achieve more.
Most guys are results-driven, and even if your husband has achieved “success” in life, chances are he still feels like he doesn’t measure up in certain areas. Men can be (to a fault) driven to achieve. Engage with your husband in conversation about his goals and dreams and remind him that healthy relationships, not trophies or money, are the ultimate measure of success. We guys need to be reminded of this often.
Please encourage your husband to read this post on “Trophy Wife: A message for husbands” by clicking here.
4. Searching for peace.
Men tend to crave silence and solitude in a way most women do not. Men tend to mentally recharge through silence and contemplation while women tend to recharge through conversation and engagement. Again, these are generalizations which don’t apply to every individual, but I’ve observed them to be true in a majority of couples.
5. Food.
This one might seem carnal and shallow, but we think about food all the time. If you took all the brain space we use up thinking about food and sex, most of us would have the mental capacity to memorize an encyclopedia! I’ve been thinking about my next meal the entire time I’ve been writing this article!
6. Money.
Most men are wired with a need to be a provider for their families. We’ll often think hard about ways to make ends meet and generate more income to provide. Sometimes this healthy need to provide can consume us and evolve into an unhealthy need to generate wealth motivated by selfish ambition more than family provision.
7. Sports (but not necessarily for the reasons you’re thinking).
We love seeing modern-day gladiators battle it out on the field and we even will sometimes live vicariously through them (since we all have an inner gladiator inside), but this isn’t the only reason we like sports. We also like sports because on that field or court, everything makes sense. The lines are clearly drawn, the rules are known by all and scoreboard is always in view. We wish all parts of life were this clear and measurable. We want “success” but don’t always know if we’re winning or not in most areas of life.
8. Pain from the past.
Just like the “instant replay” in sports, most of us have a few major life regrets or scars inflicted on us that we are tempted to keep replaying in our minds. They haunt us until (or unless) we learn to embrace the richness and depth of God’s grace. If a man won’t embrace grace, he’ll lock himself in a mental prison where he will punish himself (or punish those around him) for the wrongs he’s done or the wrongs that have been done to him.
9. Leaving a legacy.
Every man wants his life to count. He wants to be respected by his family and he wants to make a lasting contribution to the world that will endure beyond his own lifetime. Most men feel the constant pressure of wanting to leave a legacy, but not knowing where to start or how to do it. We often need to be reminded that being a faithful husband and dad is the best legacy of all (even if there’s never a marble statue carved in our honor).
For additional tools to help you build a stronger marriage and family, check out my bestselling book iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage which is now also available on iTunes as an ebook download on iPhones, iPads and all Apple devices (by clicking here).
You can also connect with me on twitter for daily encouragement.
And check out our FREE video series on “The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage” by clicking here.
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I was house trained…..

There have been a lot of blogs going around lately (at least in my blogosphere) regarding home schooling. I have read so many comments about socializing home schooled children and being careful not to shelter them I could throw up. I even read one comment that said you aren’t qualified to talk about the subject unless you were homeschooled yourself. Thus I am jumping into the issue.

“I was house trained.” That is what I would tell people when they asked where I attended school. If you don’t get the joke you are probably home schooled….. If you don’t get the irony of that comment you were not socialized enough…. Oh this is completely lost on you because you were sheltered as a child. Ok, I’ll stop with the sarcasm for now. I was home schooled from 7th grade thru graduation and it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. The most traumatic thing that ever happened was people CONSTANTLY asking how I was socialized!!! I received plenty of that in public school and was thankful I wasn’t subjected to that any longer.

I was socialized when my teacher wouldn’t Allow me to use the restroom in third grade and I sat in my own urin all day. I was socialized when I had someone grab me by the ear and drag me a cross the floor in gym while the teacher laughed. I was socialized when I broke my wrist and had the teacher stand over me and call me a baby. I was socialized when every teacher from first they third grade insisted I be held back for reading. Socialized, in my estimation, is an overused term for making sure you conform to society. What is wrong with non-conformity and thinking for yourself? Don’t get me wrong I do have some ok memories from public school, just not many.

After I was taken out I had the opportunity to develop in my time on my terms. Some saw me as withdrawn and shy, they were right. But, in my time and God’s timing, I had the opportunities to develop without being crammed into a mould of conformity. I was given the most precious gift, time. Time to think, time to develop, time to grow, time to heal, time to explore my talents before I was told I couldn’t.

I was given opportunities to make decisions for myself. I chose not to participate in youth group at church. I saw the flirting and backstabbing and disrespectful behavior and did not like it. Yes, I was intimidated, but more than that I wanted to see what real church was like. I had opportunities to go and do and help that others missed out on. I chose to cut grass, reroof church buildings, go on missions trips, serve at soup kitchens, teach children’s classes , etc. I chose to play soccer year round, I chose to clean stables in exchange for horse riding lessons. I chose to travel to Dallas, Fairbanks, Seattle, and Indianapolis to help. I had the opportunity to run a wood shop at 16 that changed my life. None of this was done in isolation or a vacuum. It was all opportunities I had because I was not forced thru the system. It was the socialization that I needed.

These opportunities led to being a Youth Leader, Youth sponsor, Sunday school teacher, worship leader, board member, college graduate, professional project manager, father of four children, who is married to his home schooled wife that he met in college. Save the socialization comments for someone else, I’ve heard enough. I don’t need to know all of Led Zepplin lyrics or every line in dumb and dumber, nor do I need to quote Napoleon Dynamite to be accepted or fit in with my coworkers or friends.

For Now,

Thanksgiving….the aftermath.

Let’s cut through the chit chat, the gauntlet of Thanksgiving meals, family, food, family, and eating is nothing short of frightening when you are trying to lose weight!!! (credit to Brett Hubbs and the turkey sandwich gauntlet aka “The Gauntlet)

I went in with the mindset of just trying to survive. The Monday after the scale does not lie. I stepped up with fear in my heart knowing and flashing back to each bite of cake, bread, casserole, etc. I immediately moved the scale across to 228 and to my surprise was too heavy and gently moved it back until it rested on 223! Very happy that I only had a 2lb weight gain, I weighed again today at 222 which confirms it wasn’t a “kind” scale.

I must say first I did not exercise over the holiday, except to chase our three y.o. Who had endless energy. I did limit my portions even when eating deserts, but I tried everything. I think most importantly I used IT WORKS fat fighters prior to all three of the thanksgiving meals I ate. I don’t usually do that, but it was an easy countermeasure to try and help maintain thru the holiday. I would highly recommend any IT Works products, but don’t think anything will replace exercise and diet.

So glad to be back on a routine, but I have my eye on Christmas coming up. Have a plan, know your limits, and don’t lose site of your goals. One little goal of mine is to jog a full 30min on the treadmill and break the 500 cal mark. Today I broke the 400 cal mark and went 20 consecutive min on the treadmill. Keep working, we will make our goals!! What are your goals, long and short term?

For Now,